1. Evisceration
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Overview:
Putting your creative work in the world can feel perilous and challenging to your nervous system. Expect it and plan accordingly. The threat of being eviscerated doesn't have to stop you. You can decide that expressing yourself fully is worth the risk.
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[EXPLICIT]
Hey creatives, I’m C. Jordan Blaquera, and welcome to the Whispering Worth to the World Podcast.
I’m a Master-Certified Life and Artist Coach who specializes in working with creatives. This is where I share what I would tell my younger self, if I could, what I’ve learned about the art of being human, about our inherent divine equality, and how it all relates to navigating our creative expression in the world.
EVISCERATION
I’ve lived in fear of taking my work out into the forum of the world, and being eviscerated by someone for it. By having the internet hear about some showdown between me and a person who decides they’re going to show me a thing or two. And if they did – all the world would know that that person who eviscerated me – had won.
Which would also mean that I had lost hard in public. Humiliatingly shredded into a ball of shame by someone who probably didn’t give two shits about me, and that I wouldn’t even recognize if I saw them pass me by on the street.
Because in this day and age…the internet, people.
You can shred another from the comfort of your own home, across fiber optics and cables laid in the ground, across continents, across the globe. For seemingly everyone to see.
So there’s me and my dream. How gorgeous is that? A human, inspired by that which created her. Mucking around in this time-space reality, making shit up, figuring out this life.
Me…a mere mortal, having the courage to go out there, daring to be me on blast, knowing full well that someone might be lying in wait to mess with me, to not only eviscerate me but to do it without mercy.
Just because, why not? Hey, it’s Tuesday, I’ve got nothing better to do than hate on someone in my feed or my phone, on the internet or who passes me by on the street.
And if that were to happen…if this evisceration, public or otherwise were to happen…. Could I maintain my center? Could I handle the flush of cortisol raging through my body? Could I handle the frantic mind? The frantic thoughts? The sleepless nights?
Would my nervous system hold? Or crack? Or break?
Could my concept of myself withstand it? Could I hear it or read it or see the hate and keep going? Keep being all of me.
So I ask myself: Is creating worth the risk of evisceration? Is it worth it???
I think it’s worth considering and deciding before you go into the arena so you can go in with no illusions because it’s likely you will get your ass kicked somehow by someone or something. You probably won’t see it coming. There will be no warning, and it will lay you out. As Brene Brown says, “You will eat dirt.” You will be marred by life in the arena showing your things to the other mortals in the world. There will be scratches, bruises, blood and bandages. Maybe even broken bones.
So…is life as you on full blast worth it? Is life as me on full blast worth it? Worth the risk?
The risk is ever-present. Those risks are there.
To the ego, to your identity, to your way of defining yourself.
Most of us don’t know that we are enough. Right Now. As We Are. I’m finally learning that. We think we’re going into the arena to prove something, to earn something, to hustle for our worth. And if we conquer and are victorious in the arena, we think we’re worthy. But if we are eviscerated out there in the arena, what then?
Less than zero. A human that amounts to nothing.
The figment of the fear of evisceration is real to our nervous systems. Yes, the vibrations in your body or the brain waves in your head may slay you. So electric. So jittery. Uhh! They may slay you.
But living fully alive as the you that you are. The Divinity as you, moving through you, in such an exquisite and unique expression, that looks like you and sounds like you, and is called by your name. And is you, exactly you.
I’ve decided to believe (and it is a choice!) that the experience of being in full expression and co-creating with the Divine and all those around me who are also co-creating with the Divine is worth the risk.
Evisceration happens. No doubt. No effing doubt, my friends.
And yet, as Anais Nin wrote, “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."
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